In association with Live2Ride there’ll be an extra nightride next week.
A special Hallowe’en Spooky Nightride… There’ll be a prize for the best fancy dress, and L2R are kindly providing free soup and rolls at the finish. Think of it as a soup kitchen for wayward nightriders.
So, Monday evening 31st October. Meet at Nockatt’s Coppice car park (that’s Heaven’s Gate car park) and be ready to ride for 7pm.
All are welcome. If you’re a qualified ride-leader then you’re even more welcome.
Hopefully most of you know who I am now, I’ve started a blog about my racing & riding which will cover next years events, but to start off i’ve covered what i’ve been upto this year.
CLIC24, Cheddar, Somerset 14/05/11
First 12hr of the year was CLIC24 a charity “ride”, originally a 24hr only but this year it had a 12 and 6hr category, the course was 10miles of mainly bridleway, double track and a small amount of tarmac. Thought I’d start the race on my singlespeed 29er as I found it feels much less effort compared to my 26er. The start felt relaxed after 3 xc races and I happily cleared the 24hr racer traffic and rolled through the start top 10. I kept a steady pace all day, feeling settled and comfortable, in the end I finished first in the 12hr solo by 2 laps, beat the 12hr teams and was leading the 24hr solo field. It felt a good start after the winter.
Erlestoke 12, Erlestoke, Wiltshire 28/05/11
2 weeks after CLIC was Erlestoke 12, originally a 6pm-6am race, now a more social 12pm-12am, the course was a mixture of fast flowing singletrack, spikey climbs and longer tarmac climbs. Felt quite a bit of pressure after a good ride at CLIC and hoping to perform well in the singlespeed category. Got another good start and stayed near the front, conscious not to race to hard from the start.
With lots of support from the Black Canon guys and great pit work from my dad the hours ticked through, the small amount of raining making little difference to the course. As the day drew on I still felt good, but as the lights went on I had a very grotty lap, getting back into the pits I had a bottle of water, getting back out on the next lap I felt much better. By then my 12hours were up, turned out i’d lead the SS class since the start, had won by 2 clear laps and came 5th overall. Some nice prizes from Charge bikes and a sit by the BCC fire helped me forget my tired legs and sore hands.
Are You Tough Enough, Deepcut Barracks, Surrey 3/07/11
After a nice break I found a Gorrick Based 4hr Enduro lap race with a singlespeed class to enter. During my warm up I noticed quite a few big names from the enduro world were there, including Anthony White of Cannondale/MT Zoom racing. Got another flying start, leading the whole field down into the first singletrack, which came out onto a road section, legs span like crazy so I lost touch with the leaders until we got back into the singletrack. The course was tough! Very little chance to rest and very technical in places, I was glad it was only a 4hr races. Half way through the first lap I manage to wash the front wheel out on a loose corner, as I collected myself up the then second placed singlespeeder went through, and that’s how the race ended, as hard as I pushed I could not bridge the gap to him. Great respect to him, Mr White only beat me by 15minutes or so and my time would have placed me 5th in the Open class.
Bontrager TwentyFour 12, Plymouth, Devon 23/07/11
After another little break of reduced riding I managed to get a later entry for Twentyfour 12 after writing it off for the year. Having raced Newnham Park years ago and briefly this spring I had a fair idea of the terrain, but after listening to report from people had pre-ridden the course it sounded tough, lots of climbing but a rewarding course. Having not done the race before I was caught off guard by how early people queued up at start! So I snuck in near the middle, from the off the course climbed straight up a grassy slope where I weaved through the hoards of gear’d riders who are incapable of riding quickly up hills!
As I had no pit crew I had little idea of my race position, but luckily 4hrs in I overheard the race commentator mention I was leading 12hr solo male, so I pushed on, after about 7hrs I had my usual feeling of feeling sick and getting slight cramps, luckily this eased as darkness well but I had lost first and was down to 4th, luckily some friends popped by to check my progress, I put them to use sorting my lights and lubing my bike whilst I ate. After that I put in two strong laps which bumped me back to 3rd, I rolled back in hoping for it to be passed 12am and leave me in third, unfortunately it wasn’t but I had called and end to my day, I went to bed thinking I’d been passed by 4th and 5th but luckily they had stopped before 12, leaving me in 3rd, I was very pleased as I had gone hoping to get some endurance back and came away with a podium and prize money.
Brighton Big Dog 6hr, Brighton, East Sussex 20/08/11
I had been looking forward to the Big Dog all year as I used to live in Brighton and knew the trails well. I went down the day before to practice the course with an old friend, the course suited me well, not too rough and manageable climbs. The day of the race was very warm, riding around before the start I noticed a few familiar faces from the racing world, including defending solo champion Ian Leitch on his factory Cannondale Flash 29er.
I had a mediocre start so was pleased when the first climb appeared and I could pass people. I rolled through the start/finish line to be told I was “atleast top 20” I was happy with this an continued to push hard up all the hills and enjoyed the fast singletrack. I began to struggle with heat after a few hours and wasn’t drinking enough, but I was in a solid 7th place so needed to keep my head. I managed to keep pushing and kept consistent lap times and had a great last two laps. After finishing I checked the lap board to see I’d came in 6th, was pleased with that as it was a shorter race to what I’m used to, so I was surprised during the podium presentation that I was called up for 5th place! A collection of nice prizes helped ease my headache and the drive home the next day. Definitely going back next year to push top 3.
Kielder 100Miles, Scottish Boarders 3/09/11
A race only in its 3rd year but widely renowned as an epic, which meant I had to give it a try. So on the Friday we drove the 300miles in lovely sunshine to the Campsite, checked in and stuck my tent in the only dry patch of ground I could find! We went and signed on, where I was forced to buy a survival blanket and whistle, what had I let myself into….
As the race is such a long way and they want everyone to get in before its dark the race starts at 6.30am! So I get up at 5am to discover it had been raining all night and was still raining, undeterred I dressed to suit and hoped the rain would stop. We assembled at the start, around mid pack, and followed the lead quad bike for about half and hour, luckily no one seemed keen in racing so I could make my way through the pack quite easily.
So the race got going well, I had made my way forward and the pace was good, the rain was still falling but I felt good, then disaster my brake pad wore out after only 25miles! I only had one spare set so I knew I need to save these for the rear, so I plodded on, taking it steady down the descents and pushing hard up the hills, then after another 15miles my rear brake was totally shot, stuck in the new pads and proceeded to pass all the riders I had just passed =( I reached the 50mile point and felt so cold as I was soaked through, I put on another layer and pressed on.
I reached the 65mile point and was relieved to find a tech station where I could get new brake pads for the front brake. I crossed the boarder back into the UK feeling better but still very cold, reaching the final feed station at 78miles I was ready to finish but I knew I had to keep going! 10miles from the end and I was knackered, I had been riding with another chap and we kept each other going, he left me as his brakes were working better than mine, 2miles from the finish and my front brake wore out again! So the last descent, which should have been really fun was taken with extreme care as to not crash!
I crossed the finish line in 10hrs 53 minutes, 44th place out of 600 starters! and the 4th singlespeed rider. As the afternoon wore on the riders slowly came in, in the end 177 finished, less than 1/3!
Singlespeed UK Championship, Pippingford, East Sussex 17/09/11
My first SSUK Champs and I had been advised not to take it too seriously! Undeterred I headed out on a practice lap to check the course, it then started raining heavily and I could tell the course was going to be tough in wet conditions.
As is customary at SSUK races you leave your bike and walk to the start line, in the meantime your bike is “arranged” mainly into piles of colours or brands. After the Le Mans style running start I quickly found my bike and got going, unfortunately I took a tumble and damaged my rear brake lever, at this point I thought it was race over, but I managed to get them working again I contuined racing.
Eventually I crossed the line in joint 4th officially, the organisers only count the first 3, or 9th unofficially, and happy enough to be top ten, but wondered how well it could have gone. Always another year.
Bristol Oktoberfest, Ashton Court, Bristol 15/10/11
Had been looking forward to this race, partly because it was the last long race of the year, and because it had a singlespeed category. The format was 9am-5pm which meant an early start but less time for me to stand around fretting! Being a local race there was a few familiar faces to catch up with before the start, the start was a Le mans style running start, with such a big field it meant finding my bike and getting going quite frustrating, eventually I was going and trying to get through the field! The course was very fast and flowing man made singletrack, with a few long climbs but nothing too testing, i was expecting to struggle on the rougher sections but the 29er made light work of most of it, only struggling with a section of rock garden.
Due to my poor start i found myself in 4th, the second and third laps went much better with consistent 28/29minute laps, this put me upto 2nd, where i was informed the leader was “2 minutes” in front, it took me another 2 laps to catch him, when i did overtake him he was looking spent, but I continued lapping at a consistant 30minutes, ensuring no one could catch me. As the day drew on i felt good and was enjoying flying through singletrack, trying my best to pass back markers in a polite manner, due to the amount of singletrack this proved difficult at times!
I finished with 25minutes till the end, knowing i couldn’t squeeze in another lap, to my surprise I was only clear by 5minutes! I was happy to end the season with a win, gives me motivation to work hard over the winter.
Thanks for your time, and thanks for the support over this year.
Chris
you can follow me on @c_noble87 and http://chris-noble-mtb.blogspot.com/
Come and have a brilliant night whilst raising funds for the club!
Following the success of last year’s event, come and jig about at the second Frome Fling!
Last year, Black Canon members displayed amazing skillz: strength, stamina, rhythm, balance and, in some cases, an interesting tartan dress-sense. Bring your mates and fill a table! Bring your long-suffering partner as a thank you for all that time you’ve been spending away biking!
Balmoral Catering will be serving up their delicious curry supper again, with a glass of wine waiting for you on arrival.
Ceilidh (pronounced kay-lee) dancing is a relaxed, informal version of Scottish country dancing. Sarah, the fiddler, will explain each dance, so everyone can join in. VJ Ultra will be adding his amazing visuals to the mix again.
Tickets are limited, so snap up early. IMPORTANT: ADD YOUR NAME TO THE THREAD ON THE FORUM TO JOIN A CLUB TABLE!
Check out the film Andrew made of last year’s event:
Looking at my technowidget (endomondo.com) after Tuesdays Night Rider I looked at the stats and shapes to gain inspiration for this jumble of words that you’re now reading. Some of this may make sense, some may not but I hope it (loosely) describes the events of stardate 1110.8 through 1110.9. I thought that the 19 equidistant imaginary points draw a shape which shares a slight resemblance with the big dipper and this got me thinking. So hold on tight, here we go………
Seven astonauts led by Captain Sheppard began their journey on the tarmac to reach the lauch pad that is the rocky singletrack to the Ford. The bridge was crossed (for fear of getting space boots damp) and launched up into the dark abiss. A small patch of asteroids (traction less mud) slowed the pace slightly before once again hitting maximum velocity and winding the way up the twiddly singletrack that avoids the hellish fire road past the side of the allotment. For the final section of the climb some of the space travelers swapped Lunar vehicles and we headed back onto the upper slope of Beelzebub’s fire road. All I can say about this experience is that I learnt how to change down the gears on a cyclo-x bike and that skinny 70psi tyres do grip. Lunar vehicles were then returned to their owners.
From the top we headed along an overgrown trail, nearly losing one space traveler in a black hole before reaching heavens gate viewpoint and the circular stone space time portal. As I reached out and opened the gate (which I hadn’t opened for years but instinctively put my bike in the precise position required to open the gate easily) it I felt like I had gone back in time by 17 years. We then swooped along a newly revived piece of ancient single track which had previously been blocked by felled trees.
After cutting through the BCC shuttlepark we bumped into 3 alien dirtjumpers. They weren’t hostile so they tagged on as we shreaded the singletrack from the Longleat entrance towards the doodle system. Doodle was by-passed, I created a new line called rodeo girl (suitable for 800mm wide bars) and we twinkled our way over towards Shearwater past another group of astronauts which were having a problem with one of their lunar rovers (it looked like they had the issue under control so we carried on). We dodged black holes (badger holes) and lauched over milky ways (that drop thing) with the aliens in hot pursuit. The climb out of Shearwater turned into an impromptu space walk and since Chas was more used to controlling his Lunar rover than space walking there was a slight mishap but he ventured on bravely with a sore shin. Back at the top of the allotment the aliens waved fairwell and sped off on a B-line for the pub.
MCC, East 17 and that trail with the log pile at the end were negotiated before passing some astronauts (again) and the race for the pub began (back the way we came).
Sometimes I look at the night sky in wonder and much like our Universe, the trail system that we have on our doorstep amazes me in the way it is contantly growing and evolving.
By Ryan McKee
6am Saturday morning and i am awoken by the all too familiar shrill, electronic tone of my alarm. Meaning i have to drag my poor old bones out of bed and pack my kit ready for this Month’s ride away to Afan. After a bacon sandwich and a can of red bull i am a little more lively and head off to meet Will at the pre-determined rendezvous point. Will was a few minutes behind schedule, giving me some time to realise the scale of the task i was about to undertake, dragging a 38lb DH bike around Afan’s notorious trails. But it was too little too late and we were on our way.
A faultless journey led by TomTom had us arriving in record time, only being beaten by the speed merchant that is Marjory. Whilst waiting for the others to arrive we had a poke around the Skyline bike shop and snapped up a few bargains. By this time everyone had congregated around the cars and were beginning to unload and piece together the 12 bikes, owned by our congregation: Will Hardy, Marjory Hatvany, Steve Corner, Sharon Loader, Chris Sheppard, Chris Snell, The Amors, Mark Vose, The Tileys and myself. Excited chatter ensued as serial faffer Will made some final “adjustments” to his bicycle and we made our way to the climb.
As ever the climb was challenging and slippery but we all made it to the top with little fuss (but much effort). It was at this point the group split, those who wanted to do the Black Run and those who would prefer to continue with White’s Level. Led by Chris Sheppard, Will, Rich, Steve, Marjory, Chris Snell and I made our way over to the Black whilst the others followed the rest of the trail. To begin with i thought the Black had been mis-graded, it was fairly straight forward. It wasn’t until we got to the final section that i realised why it had been graded. A short, very steep section of sharp rocks and steps to negotiate. Sadly my enthusiasm outweighed my ability, all leading to quite a spectacular crash (reportedly) with an audience of 20+, luckily only a dead leg and dented pride were found in the aftermath!
After a short fire road climb back up to the trail head we re-joined the White’s Level trail and began the hunt for the splinter cell group. A few minor incidents were had along the way, including Rich sliding off the trail and Will having a little moment but we made it down in one piece. We regrouped in the cafe, trading stories whilst taking on much needed coffee, beans on toast and sugar.
It was time for another lap, sadly Juliet decided to sit this one out due to a recurring injury (or the fact it had started to rain), so we put our coats on and headed off for another dose of pain… i mean fun! It shortly became too much for Steve who decided to call it a day, but left with a smile on his face after breaking in his “virginal” new bike. So the rest of us assumed our positions and began the slog back to the summit.
The plan for this lap was to do the Skyline decent, without having to endure the other 45km that makes up the trail. So a stretch of fire road brought us to beginning of the decent and after a little more faffing we were on our way. Chris made us aware of some rock steps, just so they didn’t come as a complete surprise.
It turned out there was another set that had slipped his mind, but they weren’t a problem for our trail centre veterans. We regrouped on a tight switchback to relieve the claw-hands that were rapidly developing and make sure we hadn’t lost anyone. As we were setting off, Rich decided to experiment with a new line, whilst still doing the SPD dance with his right foot. At this point the bike slipped from under him and he is greeted by a large boulder. He was now initiated into the dead leg club who’s numbers had now doubled to two (Myself and Rich). The rest of the decent was a howler, rough, flowing and exposed. This is the ONLY time i was happy to be riding a Monster Truck, the extensive travel made the decent a breeze. It was definitely the best decent of the day, and a perfect note to finish on.
We met back with the well rested Steve and Juliet, packed the bikes back into the vehicles and headed towards the showers/ cafe. The shower token system caused confusion, with the signs differing from what the receptionist said. It all got figured out and it gave us a chance to wash away the Welsh clag and investigate the war wounds we had picked up along the way.
Back into the cafe for more coffee, sweets, Beer (Snell) and a flick through March 2009’s issue of MBUK. We said our goodbyes and made our way home. Will and I spent the return journey exploring the classics on my iPod! Will was exceptionally good at singing duets with the likes of Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado and Will’s favorite… N’DUBZ 🙂
Good ride was had by all, Thanks for organising it and i look forward to next month!
By Chris Noble.
The future of Trails Riding, for the strange….
4/10/11 was a good night for fans of niche bikes in the “Unsociable group!” Of the six riders who braved the not-always-that-unsociable, Unsociable group we had 1 x rigid 29er, 2 x rigid 69er ‘s (!) 1 x CX bike and only 2 x bouncy geared bikes! Despite the strange choice of steeds we still had a lovely ride, and were lucky to be riding in October with drier trails than we had in September! The pace was fast but enjoyable, and we had a nice run-in with the slightly less strange Sociable group on their proper* bikes, going down hills instead of just going up them! And to finish the ride we found a small length of singletrack I hadn’t ridden before which linked up into “sleeping policemen” which then dropped us nicely into Horningsham, where Tom D demonstrated why he was singlespeed Cobble Wobble Champion 2011 and dropped everybody on the village hills. To end with we rolled back through the Arboretum, and then it was back to the pub for some, but back up Longleat hill for the less sociable. Me.
[* Define ‘proper’, Chris – Ed]
Today was Dig Day, people turned up and we got loads done. RAD.
P = people
E = effort
By Sean Watson.
Riding a bike is hardly rocket science, Tuesday night rides are essentially on a fixed format: ride around the woods in the dark for a couple of hours until we build up a thirst, then slake it in the pub (but then as the rest of life is complicated, it’s no bad things to keep things simple)
So to try and make this ride report a little more readable I’m going to resort to a list of statistics (thanks to having my gps thingy on – some of these are actually not made up!)
Number of riders – 30 (actually, probably more like 35, but everyone was milling around so difficult to count)
Number of groups – 3 Sociable, still Sociable but a bit quicker – and Masochists (any group with Chris Noble in – will involve suffering)
Number of riders in the Masochists group – 5 namely; Me, Tom, Chris N, Geraint and Simon (we were sent off first, so no idea how many in the other two groups)
Number of riders in the Masochists group at the top of the allotment – 4 (Geraint jumped ship to one of the other groups – traitor)
17.69 Miles. This is how far the masochists group went (from car park to pub). Difficult to say much about this, but those were 17.69 honest to goodness wiggly up and down miles with hardly a moments pause, and it is a world record beater (well – it’s further than the 5472ft 9in that Ashrita Furman managed to travel with a pool cue balanced on his chin)
1781ft – amount of height gain. It would make sense that we also did the same amount of descending, but given I spent all of those 1781ft trying to keep up with Chris & Tom, I was in oxygen debt for all of the downhill bits so couldn’t say for sure
4 seconds – Average life expectancy of an enemy soldier in Chuck Norris Films (isn’t the internet a wonder full thing). I can now add to this “number of second’s mortals can keep up with Chris & Tom before your heart tries to escape out of your mouth” (a theme is emerging…)
891 – according to my gps thingy, this is the number of calories I used up (no idea how it knows these things)
For comparison if I’d of decided to not go riding and spend 120mins doing the following I’d of burnt…Baking 314, airplane repair 378, knitting 166, hugging 126 or just watching the tv 120
440 – the number of calories I replaced with 2 pints of cider in the pub (which lets face it – is half the reason I bother with the riding bit).
By Sean Watson.
By Ryan Mckee...
Well, I always moan about having to endure a 10 mile journey to my closest trails, so I thought I would dust off the trusty OS map and see what I could discover. I sketched out a rough route over breakfast, prepped the bike and ventured off into the (relative) unknown…
It took all my determination to get out of the door, it had been threatening to rain for the past few hours and I am highly allergic to rain! However, I am glad I did, stumbling across some hidden trails that I shall definitely be re-visiting in the near future.
So with the OS in my pocket and “Don’t worry be happy” on repeat I trudged along the 1/2 mile section of road to reach The Bell Inn where the trail begins.
There is a path that extends from the pub and joins the local woods, where most of the ‘local youths’ can be found on any given evening. After sliding along the tunnel-like dirt track, the trail opened up, with several directional options I chose to to head up-hill towards the Chalk Quarry. Due to large amounts of precipitation that seemed to have been falling for the past 7 days I was pleasantly surprised (and slightly perplexed) to find bone dry, dusty trails beneath the relative shelter of the trees above. Perhaps these new trails have a micro-climate all of their own?
My mind was soon drawn to other things as the track became narrow, rocky and very steep. This is exactly what I was hoping I would find. The climb continued for several punishing minutes, reaching a clearing at the top gave me a perfect excuse to have a much needed drink and check the map.
A short, steep push up and I was back en-route.
I then emerged onto a gravel double track path which ran parallel to the Westbury Chalk Quarry. This is quite a sight, seeing such a large space of the Earth missing seemed like quite a shame when you consider the rolling landscape that Westbury is nestled in. Another road section followed, stretching from the White Horse to Eddington, where the next trail was located.
This is where things began to unravel somewhat, I had accidentally ended up on a footpath, which lead in the opposite direction to the bridleway I was originally aiming for. There was a steep, grass track climb to reach the the summit. It was at this point I had realised I was more than likely in the wrong place. There were several hints:
Whatever the reason, I now had to rely on orienteering skills which I hadn’t used since completing Duke of Edinburgh 5 years previously. They were shoddy, At best. However, Technology soon came to the rescue as for some strange reason i had WiFi connectivity? Taking this as some kind of gift from the gods, I pulled out my phone and plotted a some points. I had no choice but to trust the directions it was giving me, as time was not on my side (I had to be in work within 90 minutes). For the first time ever, it took me to the destination i wanted to reach! This meant I was securely back on ground i could ride over without running the risk of finding an unexploded land mine or becoming a training exercise target.
All was well, I put my foot down mindful that the clock was ticking, re tracing my footsteps and revisiting the trails I had found only hours previously. They were fast and loose, and definitely made the steep climbs and risk of being “neutralized” by the T.A worth it. It was quite an adventure, I can no longer moan that nothing exciting ever happens, and to top it off I made it to work on time. Bonus.
SSUK11. An acronym for The Singlespeed UK Championships, 2011. Don’t be fooled, though, it’s not as grand as it may sound as the photo above possibly indicates. It’s really a singlespeeder’s get-together in a field with a bike ‘race’ in inverted commas. And quite a lot of beer.
Part of the home-made charm of this event is that it’s two-fingers-up to BC*, the UCI, multi-national bike manufacturers who like to sponsor major mountainbike events, and, possibly more importantly, the mighty Mr Shimano himself. The emphasis is most definitely on having fun and much less on any actual competition that may inadvertently arise from the ‘race’.
Every year someone will take on the responsibility of hosting the Singlespeed Champs. How this is decided is a mystery, though the organiser and venue is always new and different. This year’s event was in Pippingford Park on the edge of Ashdown Forest in East Sussex. Chris Noble and I signed-up early for this one. This was to be my third SSUK and Chris’ first. As ever, places were limited and heavily over-subscribed.
We had fully intended on arriving Friday afternoon in good time to pre-ride the course, but we got there much later than expected and barely had time to pitch our tents and sign-on before night fell. Still, we milled around the bar area and then pre-walked part of the course in the dark with torches. Densely wooded, hard-packed, dry, technical singletrack. This looked promising. The weather was good – in fact it had been a dry, and clear afternoon and evening. Fingers-crossed it would stay dry.
Race day arrived and the forecast was for scattered showers. We both elected to squeeze in a lap before the race started at 11am. Unfortunately my enormous breakfast proved too lengthy for this to be possible so Chris – mindful of a potential podium finish – went to ride the course solo. As he set off there was a 30-minute shower of simply BIBLICAL proportions which left me cowering in my tent and bravely finishing off my third bacon roll.
About an hour later Chris returned to the campsite mud-spattered and wet through. “Best put on your mud tyres, mate”, were his words as I popped my head out of my tent, wiping away the ketchup.
One hasty tyre-change later (one that Jenson’s pit-crew themselves would be proud of) and with minutes to spare, we were on the startline. There is always a Le Mans-type start at SSUK, whereby the riders place their bikes on the course and then retire 100m or so back down the course. And then – out of sight – the organisers and marshalls move the bikes from where they were left by the owners. They shuffle them, if you like. Some are piled into sculptures of the same brand, while others are colour-coded into piles. Some are lost deep in the bracken, some are hung in trees. Some even callously zip-tied together. This only helps remove any trace of serious competition from the ‘race’ and makes the start more of a level playing field for the more inept among us.
Originally this ‘race’ today had been planned to be four laps of a four-mile course, but the very recent downpour had pretty-much doubled the difficulty of an already challenging circuit, so this was wisely reduced to just the three laps, and also one particularly lethal descent was by-passed.
After the pre-race rider briefing which involved a great deal of heckling, a starting-pistol fired and 200 singlespeeders of all shapes, sizes, abilities and fancy-dress costumes were off running, trying not to twist their ankles on the bumpy grass of the start/finish area. When we got to the bikes there was the usual melée of swearing, panting, laughing and thrashing around aimlessly in undergrowth looking for your bike.
A steady stream of riders eventually entered the course-proper. And what a course it was. The soil type in the area is clay and chalk and what was dry and hard two hours ago was now slippery, sticky mud. And there was lots of it. Four miles of technical singletrack with a few wider sections, a million roots, a fast-and-flowing bermy section (which they used the next day for a chainless race), four or five dangerously steep rocky/muddy descents, chicken-runs, a few draggy climbs, much off-camber-ness and a stream crossing. Oh, and a beer stop. It’s like a water stop, only with beer. Kegs of it. Every rider was handed a half-pint of ale as they passed by on every lap and was cajoled into stopping racing. Some didn’t pass at all and stayed there for the duration. Very wise. Very good ale it was, too.
Eventually, my three laps of mud-plugging and fighting to stay upright came to an end and I crossed the finish line to rapturous cheering and applause as did everyone else. Chris had finished about 15 minutes ahead of me (he says) and had suffered a broken rear-brake lever in a minor spill right the start of the race. He claims to have had two beer stops, but I know he’s more of a lager-man and turns his nose up at ‘muddy ale’ as he calls it, so I doubt he even sipped it (if he stopped at all, that is…)
Officially (in this very unofficial ‘race’) there is only 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th placings. That’s to say if you don’t get on the podium, then you finish in Equal-4th along with everyone else who didn’t finish in the top three. That said, Chris did manage to finish (unofficially) in 9th place. We are certain, however, that had it not been for the course turning to mush and his broken brake, he would have been much higher up the placings.
I’ve absolutely no idea where I finished (probably Equal-4th), but I did comfortably beat the Women’s winner, a zebra, a Thunderbird (possibly Scott Tracy) a Mexican wrestler, Shaun the Sheep and a golfing couple. Quite proud of that, I am.
Following a clean-up and some food (and some beer), there was the prize-giving. Wooden trophies partly made with wood from a Glaswegian gay bar to the winners, and a shiny new singlespeed frame to the Dave or Simon who could down a pint the fastest. A Dave won. Or was it a Simon. Various other goodies were handed out to those ‘competitors’ who’d had the worst crash, worst wardrobe-fail, put in the most effort for the least reward, or done something else really stupid while racing.
More beer, then the Rollapalooza started. I was drawn against Chris in the qualifying stage, and he beat me by 0.82 of a second. No shame there, then. Chris went on to comfortably beat his opponent in the Second Round, but lost by a whisker to the eventual winner in the Quarter-finals. Excellent stuff from the boy Noble.
More beer. Back to the tents and our two-man fire made from fallen wood collected from the nearby forest edge. Perfect for keeping the September night-chill away, toasting tea-cakes and, as I discovered later, even melting wellies. The eight-strong contingent from the Dorset Rough Riders who had pitched-up nearby invited us over to share in their (much bigger and more impressive) fire and made us very welcome. Talk of exchange visits ensued, and a good time was had by all until weary limbs and wits forced us all to retire.
Another great Singlespeed UK Championship over. Tick. Where will it be held next year? It’ll remain a mystery until about five or six months before it’s held. Chris has already decided he’s going.
Competitive, Chris? You’ve got the wrong race, mate.
(*Although alarmingly, this year the event was listed on BC’s website and there was even a BC Commissaire in attendance…)
